the poofie towers

Posted by: Christopher Steenkamp in Cape Town News on Jul 29, 2010

As a child, my logic bestowed the Athlone cooling towers with the prefix “poofie”. Mostly pinning the blame of the nearby sewerage stench on something bigger than my parents. Everyone remembers that libelous game of; “did you make that smell”, something played in cars all over the world. I still play it, no matter how mature the company, I rarely let an opportunity for a fart joke slip by. Comedy gold in fact. From as far back as I can remember I have used those towers as a landmark to launch the “who made a fart” ambush. I’m sharing these precious memories because they are scheduled for demolition. Very soon the poofie towers will be no more.

The question is will I miss something as seemingly useless, except for the fart joke scenario of course, as those towers. Don’t forget they’re fucking ugly, I suppose coal power doesn’t have much of a corporate identity. But yes, I will miss them and it has nothing to do with significance. There’s a cat from Cape Bricks that wants to recycle the rubble and have Cape Town use them to build some other heritage sight. What a doos.

Why is it significant that the same bricks be used for another project? Are we going to get sentimental about cement? If it perhaps stood for something other than the cooling of a coal power plant I’d try, probably. No part of our identity, other than our penchant for screwing up the environment cheaply, is found in those gray crumbling towers. Just because we’re used to seeing them doesn’t mean they’re culturally significant, we might as well hang on to shacks by the same logic.

I suppose that’s probably why, deep down, I’m fond of our skyline’s gray pimples; they’re entirely useless. I know we’re American miles away from being able to compete in the realms of size and superfluity, but there’s no reason we shouldn’t try.

If we wanted to elevate them to the lofty realm of cultural significance we could rename them the Hendrink Verwoerd towers, blow the shit out of them and then build township toilets out of the rubble. Have the working class take leisurely dumps surrounded by Verwoerd’s legacy- that should do it. 

I think we can all agree that the exciting part of this exercise will be watching them explode. I look forward to joining in on the cordiality that forms around mass destruction. If westernized democracy has taught me anything it’s that a lot of synergy occurs around blowing things up. Hey we can even ban gays from being involved, don’t ask don’t tell. Which kind of works in reverse in Cape Town.

Hopefully something will go terribly wrong and we get to spend the day watching everyone panic, some entertainment.

What about that dodge arms deal of ’99, can’t we have a little weapons expo? I don’t think it’s fair that taxpayers have to fork out for fireworks we’ll never see. Lets send in the army, maybe reinstate some of that lost pride from the last time they made it on the news. If they keep it consistent with contemporary standards we could possibly “accidentally” get Quetown a little depopulated.  

However they choose to do it I hope they make it entertaining. I’ll be there, righteously twisted, soaking in the wonder of destruction. 

Check the press, should be late August.

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