Disclaimer: Under the Electoral Act, defacing election posters is a criminal offence and considered malicious damage to property. The manipulated images in this piece are fictitious and by no means represent the views or intentions of the parties involved. The following article is intended as nothing more than political satire.

It's election time. And with elections, come political party posters. Campaign posters designed to help promote parties in a bid for your vote and a place in government.   Which begs the question, why are they so, well... shit? I'm more inspired by an OMO washing powder ad than the majority of these mundane insults to cardboard. We've probably cut down half a rainforest to put these up all over the country, and for that kind of carbon footprint can't we at least get someone who's taken Poster Design101? Can't we get something a little more witty or creative?

Okay, maybe not that creative. But you get my drift. I've taken the liberty of ‘tweaking' a few of these posters. Some in an attempt to expose design flaws, while others are just to offer more humourous alternatives. I've also included a couple of classics: the Zumatello and ANC Crime poster that have been sighted on the streets of SA. 

I have no problem with White Afrikaaners, I'm a huge Springbok fan. But lets be honest, with an oppressive political history like ours, and in the New South Africa,  this poster doesn't work. A white face in politics to the majority of our country's electorate is like the sight of Zuma to the rest of us- terrifying. It seems the Vryheidsfront is merely trying to target a niche community, and has no real intention of any significant political influence. That said, there are some clever subtleties in their bid for the white Afrikaans vote. Just compare the Freedom Front's logo colours with that of the SA rugby emblem. Coincidence? I think not.                                                                               

The Zumatello is an election poster phenomenon. There have been numerous sightings around South Africa, claiming Jacob Zuma is actually the missing Ninja Turtle. One thing I must say in the ANC's favour is that 90% of the time the ANC posters are always above all the other party posters. This is intelligent positioning, keeping vandalism to a minimum and having Bra' Jacob on top of all the poles does reaffirm that the ANC is the ruling party, if only subconsciously. Use it, don't use it.

Stem en wen what? A cookie? Don't get me wrong, if Jesus was a white chick, she'd probably be Helen Zille. Her commitment to reducing crime, unemployment and drug-abuse in Cape Town saw her voted as World Mayor in 2008 amongst 820 nominees. Zille posses qualities rare in South African politics, namely, intelligence, eloquence and most importantly- honesty. But the Democratic Alliance got it wrong with this poster. The tagline is misleading. It feels a bit carrot and stick orientated, offering the masses some kind of reward for their vote. This is an election, not tata-ma-chance, tata-ma-millions.

Patricia De Lille is awesome, and not just for her long flowing silky smooth hair either. Patricia played a big part in the investigations into the Arms Deal, and was voted 22nd in the Top 100 Greatest South Africans (although Hansie was voted no. 11 and the white supremacist ex-con Eugene Terre'Blanche came a close no. 25, so the list is somewhat controversial). In fact, there isn't much I can say to criticise this particular poster, but here is a little play on words anyway. ID; Ego; Super-ego.

The ANC was asking for it with this one. Posters all over the country have been vandalised by simply adding one word, "Working together we can do even more... crime!" Note to self: When designing posters don't leave open ended sentences, especially when your controversial candidate is facing over 700 charges of corruption.

COPE. Well the name isn't exactly inspiring. COPE were a little late in putting up their posters and it seems like the glass is half empty with this party. Many people believe COPE is merely a disgruntled ANC breakaway party, with Patricia de Lille describing the congress as "ANC number 2." Although I would prefer Mvume Dandala to Zuma, I can't help but feel that the future prospects of this party are about as revolutionary as their placards. Not exactly a beacon of hope on SA's political landscape.

One question. Do these posters actually make a difference? I mean, do they sway your vote or affect your decision, or are they a complete waste of time and resources? In fact, let's look at campaign budgets holistically. R100m for the ANC, excluding travel and logistics (the really expensive part), R60m for the DA, R60m for COPE plus a government subsidy of R75m, plus the all the other party budgets + HUGE lump sums of international funding (Sorry Dalai Lama, Howzit China!). Over a billion Rand spent just on choosing a ruling party, in a country rife with crime, poverty and unemployment. Democracy is expensive. But I guess its better than communism, so don't forget to vote.

--> Andrew

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